Renewing Your Wedding Vows

More and more married couples are choosing to renew their wedding vows ­ either in small, intimate, family-only celebrations at home, or as bigger-than-the-original-wedding extravaganzas in a ballroom. Some couples renew their vows while on vacation with their families, exchanging loving words by a Hawaiian waterfall, and some head to the beach or the mountains to renew their vows in their favorite place. Regardless of the style and location of today's celebrations, the reasons for reaffirming marriage vows are many:

• The couple is celebrating a 'big' anniversary ­ their 10th, 20th, 25th or 50th and for some couples, a 'big' anniversary is their 7th! Since they dated for 3 years prior to marrying, it's technically their 10th year together.

• The couple didn't get the wedding of their dreams the first time around. Maybe their parents were paying and wanted everything their way. Maybe their families didn't have a lot of money back then. Maybe they chose a smaller wedding since that was their wish at the time. Maybe the wedding was so big and so overblown that they got lost in the circus atmosphere. Now, they get a Do-Over. They get to do it their way.

• The couple has recently gone through a tough time, such as a separation or the illness of a partner. They've spent years healing their relationship, and now they want to refresh their wedding vows as a way to say thank you to one another and start anew.

• The couple had their original wedding plans changed due to a military deployment or a family emergency. They had to cancel their big wedding plans to 'rush' their wedding day. Now, they get to do it right.

• The couple wishes to include their kids in the ceremony. It's a high priority to have the kids present, and even to renew vows with the kids as part of the ceremony.

• The couple finds it important to always show one another gratitude and love, so they've made it a regular event in their relationship to renew their vows on every anniversary, or every 5th anniversary.

• The couple just went through the wedding planning process for one of their children (or several of their children), and they want the same kind of celebration for themselves! Maybe the bride and groom paid for and planned their own wedding, so the parents missed out on being involved. Or, the parents started to get too involved in the wedding plans, then stepped back before upsetting the overwhelmed bride and groom. It's a big trend for wedding couples' parents to renew their vows shortly after the wedding.

• The couple's religious beliefs have changed since their first wedding, and they wish to re-do their wedding ceremony and renew their vows with their newly embraced belief system and faith included.

• One partner wishes to surprise the other with a vow renewal celebration as an anniversary gift. It's a surprise party/vow renewal that thrills the partner. The kids may also wish to throw a planned or surprise wedding vow renewal celebration for their parents.

• Couples find that wedding vow renewal celebrations show the younger generations what a successful marriage looks like: the dedication, the affection, overcoming challenges, showing appreciation. In our world of quickie celebrity divorces, a long-lasting union is a great lesson for kids and grandchildren.  Plus, it is a happy occasion for a family gathering.

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